Planking


Are you a daring internet hipster with little to no regard for your sense of dignity and self preservation? Does the world of fleeting internet memes have a cool new thing for YOU.


Planking, an offensively simple, grammatically incorrect and somewhat self explanatory term, describes the passtime of lying face down on your stomach, with arms and legs as straight as possible, in obscure and quirky places.

It sounds simple, but not only does planking require the motor skills and attention span of a baby monkey, there's an extreme label of idiocy that goes with it which only the most esteemed category of dickhead can manage to shrug off.

Never before has the world seen such a stark parallel between the stupidity of humans and animals than in current times with the uprising of planking. Everybody's doing it. Your friends are doing it. Your mum's doing it. Your great great grandmother has been unknowingly doing it expertly for decades.

While it's true that planking is fun for the whole family, like any here-one-day-gone-the-next trend, there's a planking elite destined to cement their place in the record books for taking it to a new level. If you're looking to join the planking elite, you'll need to think more about the most obscure place to participate in the anti-sport. A moving car or a balcony is a good place to start.

If you're one of the lucky few within the planking community with an IQ of above 60, you might be asking yourself, what's the point? Well, there is no point. That's what makes it so fucking cool. Just like having a polaroid app on your smartphone despite the 20 megapixel camera.

It's just an obscure, edgy, waste of time used by people to fill a few minutes and some space on their camera when they're not thinking of really important things. Like the due date of their next assignment of their Arts degree. But if you're not sold on the idea simply because you can't see the point, maybe you should open your mind, lighten up and have some fun.

The kind of fun you can get only from lying face down in a stationary position.

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